Numb

Trigger Warning: I’m not trying to romanticize suicide just putting some really deep/depressing thoughts down that I really need to get out.

Lina: I just don’t understand…why would…why…why me? her voice is cracking I don’t get it. Everything I remember is gone. I lost it. I lost my life. I lost my future…my…my friends. Its gone… Everything is gone. I don’t know who I am anymore. I am nothing. I cant live like this…not now…not ever. she pauses trying to calm herself. she starts again calmer. As children we look at life and we cant wait to grow up. They are young…innocent. But maybe they aren’t so innocent. Ignorant is the better term. They mess up their lives without knowing. They live in what they think Is happiness just to wake up one day and realize that happiness is a myth. We cant be truly happy. Its all fake. Happiness is madness. We live under the illusion that life gets better and even “happier” but its all a joke right? We live in pain. We all do. As humans, we always take the easy way out. What if what we call happiness is actually ignorance. We make ourselves forget the pain so we can be “happy.” But were never happy. Were just numb. Maybe its impossible to find happiness in a world this broken. Or maybe there’s only happiness in the next life. Maybe that’s why people want to end their life. They are the sane ones not the mentally unstable. They are the people who understand the true meaning of life.


This is a short monologue that I made up. I do not intend to romanticize suicide. If you are feeling suicidal, I encourage you to get help. The person in this monologue is struggling with depression and cannot see any hope or happiness and everything is foggy. I go through that too but I know that there is something better in life then what I’m going through.

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