Its the anger keeping in all the pain

Its the clouds that block the light of midday

Its the moist, cold wind as it starts to rain

How I wish I could make this go away

He traumatized me I cant just let go

With the flashbacks and voices haunting me

I’m still scared of him I think he should know

That everything he did made me empty

How can I forgive everything he’s done

When I know he could do it again

How can I trust, I think fear may have won

If I forgive him what do I do then

When there’s none left to blame then its my fault

How’s it my fault, I guess it always is

I will just put my fault as the default

But I’m supposed to forgive if its his

This is a poem I made up. I don’t think its that good but basically my older brother used to be physically and emotionally abusive and I’m struggling with forgiving him. He’s better now but I’m still scared of him. If I forgive then whose fault will it be then?

One thought on “Forgiveness

Add yours

  1. Accepting the situation you were in and forgiving the person involved does not absolve their faulty behaviour or actions. Just by admitting it happened you are making steps towards recovering the pieces you have lost along the way. I am not sure if letting him see you at a vulnerable place as it may or may not be taken advantage of. But you should be proud of the fact that you can put your feelings onto paper and those words can touch the hearts of others. Do not diminish yourself, you are great the way you are and you are allowed to be who you are and who you wish to be.

    Sorry about the long ranty reply. Just wanted to say “great job, keep it up”

    Liked by 1 person

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